lots has happened in the past wk... too many i can't recall everything... i just know it hasn't been a gud wk at all... my flute's really sucky now cos my embrochure i just realised has been made into a utterly wrong habit (it's slanted now, that's y my posture is always so tilted)... haiz... it's a gud thing i realised it but the thing it is really a very bad time for me to realise it as i'm gonna has my practicals soon n too correct an embrochure would take far too much time... it's just like destroying my whole lipping and building it up again, which i desparately don't have time for... the worse is it's in the midst of correcting half way n i neither can go back to the wrong embrochure (which at least still produces some tone) nor achieve a gud new emborchure! haiz... i'm really gonna screw my entire life up... i'm not exaggerating when i say i have no tone in my low notes cos it's really that bad, I CAN'T EVEN MAKE A SOUND OUT OF IT!!!!!! i'm not talkinga bout tone here, i'm talking about SOUND!!!! it's like trying to reach high notes but yet not getting it, just the air...

flute's messed up, open day's messed up too... ended up daniel and wensi did almost everything to make the band look at least presentable... i cocked up the whole open plans, made everybody decorate their walls last minute, put so much pressure and fatigue on them... just because of my last-minuteness... i really dunno... how far will i still screw the band up... ho's not very happy with me, neither is the band... shouted at the band to move for morn assembly n i really regretted it... i wished i had not done so... screwed up strings performance at lt5 ytd... aquarium was a intonation failure... bird was a total failure... finale was no beta... my section did the whole corner themselves n i didn't bother to help at all... bumblebee was a crazy idea that nvr worked... the band could self-function without me... made the band move risers for nothing...

my life's just a mess... i really wish to revert back to the old days when i just have to play the flute and bond with my section and just have fun... those were the days... the beautiful days...