spent the last few days of hols reading lots of blogs instead of mugging... old old entries... really old ones... somehow i always felt a hinge of sadness after reading other blogs of my friends... u noe sometimes when u wake up u get the feeling that u seem to have lost everything dear to you... the only thing that awaits u is more and more HELL... u seem to feel that your whole life has actually just been a thorough mess and nothing achieved... u feel that u have lived IN VAIN... screw life... when u actually see through life u'll probably noe there's nothing to look forward to cos most of the times what lies ahead for u isn't hope... it's disappointment... oh well... at least reading blogs helped me to know my friends beta... at their moments when life seemed so brittle... n yet they're still standing strong rite in front of me... i really do admire them... relationships do fade... and sometimes it's really amazing (or shocking) how fast they can just disappear... from best friends and buddies to mere acquaintances... as much as i dun wish for that to happen, it IS already taking place... do true friendship really do exist in the first place? or is it just a state of utopia that can nvr be achieved? the reason friendship can weaken so fast, is it because it was built on selfishness for mutual benefits in the first place? because i just like your company, so i stick to u... once i get new friends, U NO LONGER MEAN ANYTHING SO U CAN GET OUT OF MY LIFE?!?!?! i'm really beginning to think so... n if so, den there probably wouldn't be such thing as eternal love at all... anybody, anything, once has outlived its purpose, can cease to exist... so tell me... what then exactly has life to offer u? superficial fame and achievement with all ur degrees and successful entrepreneurship (if it happens to be successful?) or irritating illnesses and diseases that seem to bug u in harassment but nvr seem to just let go, even in the sense of death? or the fact that the very reason u can enjoy such a luxurious life is at the expense of someone else in this world? life just IS a piece of shit...