it's already been the umpteenth time people have said this n revealed so much about how they actually mean what they say... they say the flute section is zai - got cindy, and got anthony... ... and got me (andrew)... their faces and the pauses already say everything. honestly, n today i heard that sentence again... ok yes i AM jealous of how well they can play... the word here is JEALOUS, not ENVIOUS... but at the same time i'm also happy i've a good section to be with, to improve and to play with... at least i can feel proud to say i have a good section... but then many a time i really wonder where do i stand? or do i even at all? hahaha sometimes it's really quite ironic that somebody using the instrument for academic purposes can be much much worse that somebody who plays it out of interest... i seriously have never felt the power of motivation from pure interest and aspiration and i doubt i'll have it... hahaha it's really quite funny when sometimes u share a same hate for others practices when actually i really am what i hate...

n... i think someone hates me...