i dunno y i get so emo everytime i start reading other's blogs... but at least it's better than others having to read mine - IMMEDIATELY CLOSE!!!!!

anyway i realise i have been very weak, physically and mentally... really can't do anything... quite a useless person on the whole... yet me being the usual ego arrogant guy just can't stand it and tries to make whatever means to make myself feel better somehow... which probably explains all the wierd stuff going on around since jc live started... i really have become a very different person since i came into jc (with negative connotations)... dunno what to do... have deviated alot in the absence of others help... i realise i'm not the kind who can really make it on my own although i would really wish to...

anyway was planning to make full use of my day today but ended up wasting the WHOLE of it!!!!! woke up at almost 1pm when retard asked whether i want to go mug.. finally retard has decided to use her brains :P well idiot is still quite laid back and can't mug for other subj... i'm still trying to catch a bullet train for everything... anyway declined... spent half of my afternoon sending all the recordings and stuff... SO VERY IRRITATINGLY SLOW!!!! RAHHH wanted to use that time to prac some flute ('cos i'm really hell dead lousy this whole week)!!!!!! anyway after that had to choing music cos if not i know i'm totally dead so pushed fluting til night... n was like WTH spent 2hrs on the 7-bars 2 part writing!!!!! i really suck to the core manZZZZ!!!! getting the harmony was already crazy enuf!!!!!

the worse is not done yet.. in the end everybody was slping at like 8 plus n i HELL COULDN'T PRAC MY FLUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok i'm so not gonna play tmr so lump u gao dim the section urself!!!! idiot is going into idiotic mode!!!!!!

so anyway was trying to do my analysis but WTH what is THERE TO ANALYSE!?!?!?!?! what kind of piece is this lah?!?!?! or is it that i've totally become sucky over the hols that i can't even analyse liaoZ... anyway i totally sucked and decided to listen to sidus - IT'S SORT OF MY NEW FAV NOW!!!!!! tried to research on existentialism but totally din get all that was on wiki... too chim alr... anyway spent the rest of the time, of cuZ, reading blogs again instead of doing proper stuff... so someone kill me please...

i ought to be shot for being such a horrible person and friend for the past few months... i think i'm seriously becoming abnormal and need a psychiatrist... dunno y... i getting emo over the slightest things and so badly affected by small things... getting over sensitive over many small issues and giving up at the slightest barrier... no will to move on, keep looking back... ANDREW, WAKE UP!!!!! CONTINUE LIKE THIS N U'LL REALLY BE A LOSER IN LIFE!!!!! (oh well, not like i'm not one now...)