i think i should be awarded the SUSTAINED ACHIEVEMENT AWARD for being the MOST HATED person for the past 3 days!!!! and for being ever so SUCKY!!!! hey but being has been so ever since dunno when, so i ought to have gotten MANY of those awards already =] sucker, sucker, sucker, sucker, sucker, sucker... (the owner of this blog has officially gone bonkers =) )

i know i don't want it like that, but i have no other choice... don't i feel hurt too, to have to shun u all when i want to go out too... don't i feel hurt too, to have myself left out of all the fun and laughter... don't i feel hurt too, to hurt others with my stubbornness... but if my presence is only going to spoil everything - the music, the system, the laughter, the joy - then i should never be seen again... these few days has only made me realise that without me, the world still goes on turning, and turns even better - filled with pure laughter, pure joy... my existence not is not only unnecessary, but in fact makes things worse, to an extent that nobody can't enjoy... a card game could be so much more fun without me... y should i go spoil things for u? y should i go kill the mood? i no doubt would love to join, but if i let this selfishness get the better of me, i know the rest will suffer...

i wake up every morning, knowing that it really going to be a bad day the way i live it... in fact i dun even feel like waking up... i just feel like going into eternal slumber, to purge myself out of this world, this ever-so-hateful world... i know u all are trying to comfort me and hence say all the nice yet fake and gravely exaggerated things... not that your words dun carry any weight at all, but rather i know u all are just being excessively kind and untrue in your comments so as to pull me up again... i dun want to get pulled up but in the end realise i'm actually no different from s***... so what if u really do pull me up now? i still am s*** and when i realise it again, i'll just go back down...

i can sense that distancing already... which is a good thing... once i really disappear, then i know u all would be much happier people, especially u... u want to know what's the problem? I'M THE PROBLEM!!!!