back from phuket escapade... lies that i went visiting in melecca...

on the whole, ok it was some sort of an escapade from all these stupid troubles and things that've been bogging me down... was constantly thinking of some people... really couldn't get these ppl off my mind... but sorry din buy anything for y'all, din even buy for myself... it's quite irritating to have my parents quarrelling every now and then during the trip as if everything is going to break down... n each insisting on their own ways... it's like having tension every moment...

spent some time to think through some stuff, but never really found an answer to everything... that i know cos the moment i reached back home i plagued with the same problems again... makes me dread life totally... back to ignoring smses and calls... delaying and procrastinating...

n i'm glad that u all are happy and, better, have been self-sufficient throughout my absence... no doubt u may say u want me back, but that fact that u all have been fine and full of laughter throughout these times and stuck with and for each other during difficult moments meant that i was redundant... n NO i'm not expecting u all to stay emo whatsoever just for me... it's just proves that i'm redundant, no matter how u all claim i'm not... yes, like lisa said, if i continue like that, i'll most probably be totally forgotten (or am i already?)... so be it... hurts? of course... but i guess it's a sooner or later thing...

tmr's back to school again... and yes back to band... dunno if u're back yet, cos the section sounds llike shit without u... ok mayb ur son can support for the moment... i dread life... 8hrs more n i'm back at band... u noe what? i really am contemplating resigning and quiting... just an idea, n i'll feel worse... just as well... i'll most probably miss band camp totally or at least 3/4 of the time... i really want to be at band camp... i already felt so bad and left out last year having missed the first day... no i DON'T blame anyone... it's only my fault... i dun want this year to be a repeat of the last... but apparently it's not going to be a repeat - it's going to be worse!!!! i really feel like cursing and swearing now...

ok life just sucks... gonna slp it off...