simplicity is sometimes the most beautiful thing on earth... to be contented with the simplest of all... no matter how stupid or retarded it may seem... no matter how slow or laid back it may be... it's really becoming a luxury... esp for a musician, when all the music either becomes of extreme esoterism or extremity, simplicity just gives that warmth and colour to it... no wonder pop songs are so popular...

i wish i could go back to that stage... when everything was just about making and enjoying music... no other concerns... just racing bar 272, binging chickens and gummies, bridging cards, vandalising scores, crapping and laming about, facing the wall to reflect... it's never gonna be that simple again... i really miss those days... n those ppl...

i dun understand... y i just can't do it... i'm really trying... n i'm praying... yet all i get is more and more disappointment... i'm just sinking further down... people either dun recognise my effort and just condemn me all the way or dun bother whether i mind but just say the things i want to hear, which is definitely nowhere near the truth - just grossly exaggerated lies...

n... i can't bring myself to face u now... too ashamed, too guilty, too unworthy, too undeserving, too unfair... i'm not about to break up that strong bond u all have forged during my absence... i'll just try to make it less awkward by avoiding as much as i can... i'm sorry n that's all i can only say... just know that it's NEVER your fault, but mine alone to bear... n neither should u c it as a sad thing...

band tmr... dread... pray everything will turn out well... pray u'll be happy...