what's life when there's nothing to look forward to, nothing to aim for, nothing to cling on?

today sucks, just as all other days... screwed up both pracs consecutively... first chem then physics... just dun understand y my experiments never yield the correct results... half the time mrs yeo was using me as an anti example - "dun like andrew like that ah, didn't put enough alkaline medium..." BLA BLA BLA... so freaking pissed... end up din even get half of the observations... the half correct also had half inaccurate, like the wrong colour ppt. BLA BLA BLA... i'm really so sick of doing all these already... try so hard to predict and write the correct observations then end up... physics too... everytime graph sure have problem... worse, stupid precautions never ever come to my mind...

then went for lunch... so bloody crowded so end up din eat... no where to seat too, ended up walking aimlessly all around the school...
that's when i saw u all there... i dunno what to feel anymore...
and i know it's no ones fault but mine...
and so went on to maths and gp... totally sucked... dunno y i'm so tired... i'm really sleeping early these days... but i dunno lah... maybe i just dun want to go on and dun c the point of paying attention or doing work when there's nothing in my life... most importantly, there's no u...

anyway went to slp in the band room during caal since my whole class went for cip... i pushed away just because i'll be 10mins late for band... dunno whether that's a stupid thing or not, seeing that all the rest are like slacking til around 4.30... band sucked... i sucked... i dun understand y there's a need for me anyway cos i'm like really noisy and lousy... n i'm saying this for the Nth time - DANIEL SHOULD BE THE BM!!!! i'm just the hindering stone now... i totally hate myself...

band prac ended very late for a wednesday... wanted to run out and tot daniel was going to do so too... end up only me running like an idiot alone when everybody else was walking behind me... good too either way, i get to be alone after that...
i guess what really hurts me was that lingering past... that u ever doubted me... that u ever thought that i didn't care at all, even if it's just for 1 moment (or do u still?)... and what hurt me more, was that u tot i cared more for her than u... u can ignore me, but what really hurts me is probably u not knowing what i ultimately want is for u to be a happier person at the end of the day...
i suck...