noe i shouldn't b here now but just need to pour out some stuff here b4 i really break

somebody's blog triggered yet again all my past longings.. coincidentally i was just crapping with ngiam on thursday about how sec3 & 4 life was really great back in cat high.. the really carefree days, just pure fun and childishness.. all the crazy things we did, n how we still haven't changed (like damien boh and jeremy).. really.. those were the only 2 years i really felt part of the class and glad to be.. the others are small or temporary grps :( but i guess that's life.. so i should learn to treasure such bonds when i can.. n so should u who r reading this :) really miss those moments..

i really do feel really lonely and unwanted many times.. yea i noe.. i'm 18 alr, adulthood is coming, the real world is here, but many a times i just want to be treated like a child, cared for, and yes, mayb the best word is 'sayang'.. just as much i would like to care for others.. but somehow no one seems to be there.. either too far in character from me.. or they've beta company (which is really a good thing n i'm happy for them.. who wants to be with a person who everyday laments over his life and wallows in self pity all day?) i oso realise 2 of my beta friends are recently together.. to think that i thought a stood a chance

rarrrr this is so not the right time to be thinking and affected by all these.. doomsday is approaching.. fast..