hello i'm back :)
oh well hols has been fine so far :) biological dictates sleeping hours to b 4am to 2pm, so much of my time has been slping, living up to my name, like a pig :) other than that, life's been revolving around com and tv. dun ask me wat i do on the com - a random assortment of everything, ranging from games (YES I DO PLAY GAMES), listening to music, stalking ppl (thru blogs and facebook, YES I JUST CREATED THE LATTER ONE), reading books (FINALLY I'M READING) and wat not. my dad complains i'm wasting time staring at the com for long hours - WADEVA!
oh and about books, i'm reading harry potter. yes i noe i'm ultra outdated. well it really ain't that bad, esp for someone who has nvr read anything besides textbooks n notes :) have read finished the half-blood prince over the past week and am now on the deathly hallows. really tearing, the ending of half-blood prince, really. dumbledore died, murdered, which felt like losing an important figure in my life (yes mine, somehow i must have gotten all to involved in the story). really loved his life long belief - that love was a power not to b trifled with :)
anyhow, otherwise, my live has been really uneventful these days. no flute-ing, no outings, nothing. about flute-ing, i dunno. i used to b so interested last time that it was the first thing i picked up immediately after exams. now, knowing it's probably not going to b my future (though i still strongly wish it so), and given my poor skills on it, i'm rather apprehensive of taking it up again, for fear of giving myself hope, yet to realise that it'll not last. not for life. hate to give up, yet know i have to give up, sooner or later. sometimes i think i have just wasted my 2 years of jc life totally away, which left me slipping off in my music. regret? too late for them, what's done is done. n that's that.
n i was also apprehensive about reading that post on ur blog. somehow, i wished i had not b given that honour, to have my face there and even a short paragraph. apprehensive at the comments that u might make. but, i'm glad it turned out so. i won't deny, i have made many many grave mistakes during my term of service, many unasked for and avoidable. never mind u not agreeing, 'cos neither do i when i reflect back many a time. this is not in the least to pretend nothing happened, but i'm just glad it's a 'what's done is done' thing. i nvr had the courage to really apologise out loud, as yr suggested. mayb someday, i might just b enlightened. hopefully, that day will come, soon.